These past few weeks, I felt so much anguish and it’s pretty obvious with my previous entries. But I still managed to smile though it was really stressful. I got messages from my family and friends that I believed were from the heart. That may be a small thing, but it means a lot to me.
Another thing that somehow made my mood was the activity held after our last class for this semester. As a requirement for the yearbook, we were asked to submit a self description with a maximum of 150 words. Most of us were having a hard time describing ourselves, so the class decided to have an activity to solve the dilemma.
There were 48 yellow long papers, each paper was written a name of the 48 individuals. The activity was sort of a game. The rules were simple. You just have to write something about that person, positive or negative it may be, then pass the paper and grab another paper to write on.
I was a bit surprised with the result of the activity. There were only 27 people who wrote some stuff on my paper that is out of my 47 block mates. Some were absent, others sneaked away because it was already late.
Well, here are what they think about me.
1. always generous
2. sweet, fighter, loyal
3. sweet, smart
4. palaban sa lahat ng bagay
5. kind and approachable, true friend
6. mukha namang harmless (try to look again)
7. charming at matalinong bata
8. ohh... i'm scared (ohh, you better be)
9. fun to be with, easy to get along with
10. serious type of girl
11. frank
12. sweet, mabait, a friend
13. sweet but intimidating, understanding
14. sweet and cool, with a little nudge she can also be bad
15. mataray, palaban, responsible
16. fighter
17. nakakatakot (really huh)
18. kind, serious, easy to get along with
19. snob at front, friendly inside
20. mataray
21. sweet and simple
22. makulit, attitude, responsible
23. smart, vain
24. bitch (so true)
25. smart and pretty
26. ganda
27. sobrang responsible, katuwa, mapanindigan
So that is me in my block mates' point of view. I was so astounded by what they wrote. Most of them think that I'm sweet!? Oh come on! If you really know me, I bet you'll consider me as the least sweet person on earth. And they even think that I'm kind!? I guess they just wrote it down to be a little kind to me. Some were actually true, especially the intimidating part.
Those statements enclosed in parenthesis are my side comments.
I decided to put here how they define me in order for the readers (that is, if there really are) of this site to gain insights about the weird person behind this site.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Antithesis
So what is the greatest burden for somebody who is about to finish college? The dreadful thesis!
Well, it wouldn’t suppose to be a burden to me since our paper wasn’t really complicated and that there are eight members per group. Again, eight people in a group. Too many individuals for a thesis, right? I believe there should be a division of labor among the members, and that each researcher should initiate in doing something for the project, and they should be making effort in doing the study.
BUT the problem is that they’re not exerting any effort, they always wait for someone (unfortunately, that someone happens to be me) to remind them that they are conducting a study, and they would only remember that they have a thesis when the day for submission of it comes! Isn’t that great?! These things simply define them as freaking free riders!
Another thing, we got the highest grade for defense, wherein I answered almost all of the panelists' queries.
My teacher way back high school once told us,
“Know your Responsibilities and Set your Priorities.”
That was like seven or eight years ago, but it’s something that I’ll never forget. I live by it. And when it comes to this kind of situations, this is what I usually say.
I know that they already heard this line from me several times (this isn’t the first time we had to write a paper, and this isn’t the first time that I work with those people), but when will they be able to apply it? Are they really mulish?
*Sigh*
It’s 4:48AM, and I’m still working on our (or should I say my?) thesis, alone. Neither of them tried to help or offered to help. And I’m considering the idea of telling my adviser how cooperative my group mates are. Gosh, I really loathe them.
Well, it wouldn’t suppose to be a burden to me since our paper wasn’t really complicated and that there are eight members per group. Again, eight people in a group. Too many individuals for a thesis, right? I believe there should be a division of labor among the members, and that each researcher should initiate in doing something for the project, and they should be making effort in doing the study.
BUT the problem is that they’re not exerting any effort, they always wait for someone (unfortunately, that someone happens to be me) to remind them that they are conducting a study, and they would only remember that they have a thesis when the day for submission of it comes! Isn’t that great?! These things simply define them as freaking free riders!
Another thing, we got the highest grade for defense, wherein I answered almost all of the panelists' queries.
My teacher way back high school once told us,
“Know your Responsibilities and Set your Priorities.”
That was like seven or eight years ago, but it’s something that I’ll never forget. I live by it. And when it comes to this kind of situations, this is what I usually say.
I know that they already heard this line from me several times (this isn’t the first time we had to write a paper, and this isn’t the first time that I work with those people), but when will they be able to apply it? Are they really mulish?
*Sigh*
It’s 4:48AM, and I’m still working on our (or should I say my?) thesis, alone. Neither of them tried to help or offered to help. And I’m considering the idea of telling my adviser how cooperative my group mates are. Gosh, I really loathe them.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
TAE: Thoughts And Emotions 001
They say,
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.
But nowadays, for most people, I think it isn’t.
People can simply utter the word “Sorry” without even meaning it. For some people, it is merely an expression. Expression in the sense that they usually say it, hearing it from that person is so typical that you don’t know if he or she is earnest with what he or she said. Other folks are just merely being sarcastic with other people. That is they are saying “Sorry” just to mock other people.
What’s with the word “Sorry” that it is a big deal to me? The reason why people articulate the word is to apologize, to state remorse, or to express guilt and admit regret. And with that, what should come with apology is sincerity. Sincerity goes with honesty of expression of true feelings, earnest utterance and candor. The said statements only lead to one thing, sincerity matters to me.
I maybe sounding kind of cynical, but this is how I feel from being surrounded by stubborn people. These are the people that I can easily list as “Friends”, but counting on them is a different thing.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.
But nowadays, for most people, I think it isn’t.
People can simply utter the word “Sorry” without even meaning it. For some people, it is merely an expression. Expression in the sense that they usually say it, hearing it from that person is so typical that you don’t know if he or she is earnest with what he or she said. Other folks are just merely being sarcastic with other people. That is they are saying “Sorry” just to mock other people.
What’s with the word “Sorry” that it is a big deal to me? The reason why people articulate the word is to apologize, to state remorse, or to express guilt and admit regret. And with that, what should come with apology is sincerity. Sincerity goes with honesty of expression of true feelings, earnest utterance and candor. The said statements only lead to one thing, sincerity matters to me.
I maybe sounding kind of cynical, but this is how I feel from being surrounded by stubborn people. These are the people that I can easily list as “Friends”, but counting on them is a different thing.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Dulcolax for Great Mornings!
Ranting starts now,
My god!
Should everything be spoon fed to some people?!
Damn it!
Don’t you know how to figure it by yourself?!
The internet is a vast source of information, make use of it! It’s not only for Friendster or chatting.
I’m not a walking information counter or your information database.
PLEASE!
I’m really pissed off, thanks to you for making my morning g-r-e-a-t! And of course, because of you, I managed to have an entry that really sucks.
By now, I should be finishing my assignment. I should be interpreting regression results. Thanks to you...
*Sheesh…*
I really need to take a holiday…
My god!
Should everything be spoon fed to some people?!
Damn it!
Don’t you know how to figure it by yourself?!
The internet is a vast source of information, make use of it! It’s not only for Friendster or chatting.
I’m not a walking information counter or your information database.
PLEASE!
I’m really pissed off, thanks to you for making my morning g-r-e-a-t! And of course, because of you, I managed to have an entry that really sucks.
By now, I should be finishing my assignment. I should be interpreting regression results. Thanks to you...
*Sheesh…*
I really need to take a holiday…
Friday, September 19, 2008
STD: Stressed, Together with Distress
It has been almost two months since my last entry. The funny thing is that my last entry was like I had a break from nerve-racking stuffs, which is something that I badly needed to have now.
So here goes another rant entry.
So much stress my thesis has caused me. We were a group of eight, but it seemed that most of the jobs are left on me. I had lots of overnights due to this thesis, and some of my uncooperative group mates just made it a sleep over. I look really exhausted and worn out. I forgot most of my responsibilities because of this damn thesis, and my mother is enraged because I can’t help in this house like I used to.
It is not only that thesis that bothers me.
Believe it or not, I do have a doppelganger! And I always see her whenever I have a class. She imitates the way I act, my expressions, and even my atrocious attitude. What a pitiful creature she is. Miss Copycat’s case is pretty hopeless since we talked to her about what she is doing and her attitude for several times but to no avail she still hasn’t done anything about the matter. She did change, but for the worse!
Two of my college friends disturb me. The water is now clear, but it got even harder to tread. I need to stay away from the both of you, it isn’t healthy anymore. We had lots of it; it’s time to take a break from it now.
The table has now turned between me and an old friend. He used to send me messages from time to time, call me whenever he liked, and ask me out for lunch. But now, everything change, I’m the one who is seeking for his help, send him messages, and call him. We both had sinned to each other from the past, but it appears that what I committed was graver than what he did. Though in reality, what he did was dire, and what I did was just simple.
*Sigh*
Ok, enough with ranting.
I can’t get over Alanis Morisette’s Ironic. This isn’t just a simple last song syndrome. The song is a big ouch for me for whatever reasons it maybe.
A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic, don't you think?
A little too ironic and yeah I really do think
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought it figures
So here goes another rant entry.
So much stress my thesis has caused me. We were a group of eight, but it seemed that most of the jobs are left on me. I had lots of overnights due to this thesis, and some of my uncooperative group mates just made it a sleep over. I look really exhausted and worn out. I forgot most of my responsibilities because of this damn thesis, and my mother is enraged because I can’t help in this house like I used to.
It is not only that thesis that bothers me.
Believe it or not, I do have a doppelganger! And I always see her whenever I have a class. She imitates the way I act, my expressions, and even my atrocious attitude. What a pitiful creature she is. Miss Copycat’s case is pretty hopeless since we talked to her about what she is doing and her attitude for several times but to no avail she still hasn’t done anything about the matter. She did change, but for the worse!
Two of my college friends disturb me. The water is now clear, but it got even harder to tread. I need to stay away from the both of you, it isn’t healthy anymore. We had lots of it; it’s time to take a break from it now.
The table has now turned between me and an old friend. He used to send me messages from time to time, call me whenever he liked, and ask me out for lunch. But now, everything change, I’m the one who is seeking for his help, send him messages, and call him. We both had sinned to each other from the past, but it appears that what I committed was graver than what he did. Though in reality, what he did was dire, and what I did was just simple.
*Sigh*
Ok, enough with ranting.
I can’t get over Alanis Morisette’s Ironic. This isn’t just a simple last song syndrome. The song is a big ouch for me for whatever reasons it maybe.
A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic, don't you think?
A little too ironic and yeah I really do think
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought it figures
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