Out of Order

Sleepless nights.
Pimple-infested face.
Dark and heavy eye-bags.
Unwanted weight gain (If you are thinking that I'm having a baby, well, I'm not).

Something has been really bugging me this past few days, no, months I think. But I’m not sure what it is or what are they. I don’t exactly know what is happening to me. There are a lot of things running in my mind and it seems that my head is clouded with thoughts.

And before my head goes out-of-order, I better flush the toilet now!

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My first mistake, can’t help but think of him. We had a not-so-good relationship, and a very terrible break-up. A one-year-and-eight-month relationship it was, and the drama was like against all odds, I need not to go into details about that. Well, now I don’t know if I miss him or just the stuffs that we do together. Thoughts of him keep hunting me, and it is hell.

When I was feeling down, a guy came. Everything seemed to be fine at first, but he had his own agenda. And stupid I fell for the trap he set. After a month of pretense, I decided to put back my barriers. Though I know I only made a wall out of straws. I broke up with him, he refused the idea but I don’t give a damn about that. The guy is miserable and pretty hopeless. That was like almost a year ago, but up to now, he still keeps on bothering me and my friends. Still, what he is doing has an advantage; he provides us entertainment with all his woes.

In a few months, I’ll no more be a college student. That doesn’t mean that I’ll be dropped out of college. Hopefully, I’ll graduate next year. After that, I definitely have no idea what will happen to me. Will I be welcomed by the unemployed society of this country? Or be hired by some firm? My plan after this taken-for-granted four years of college is to take a second degree in a decent university, but the thing is I don’t have money for it. So with this, we go back to the two questions. Sigh, whatever!

Someone I know infuriates me. In fact, she happens to be a college friend. The thing about her is her major attitude problem. She keeps on pretending, feigning, and acting imprudently. We confronted her about the matter by having an open forum. But it looks like she didn’t get the idea why we had a forum like that. And now, the problem just got worse.

I’m troubled by my two guy friends. I’m not sure about it, but my instincts are telling me something. And with their acts, it is quite obvious. I’m sorry to the both of you, insert I love you as friends drama here.

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So these are some of the thoughts that are circling in my head. This is quite a selfish entry I think, but I just have to put it here.

Toilet flushed.